Lost memories AND laughter? Yes. With my mother, often this is the case. She can just crack me up and crack herself up.
As we were driving across town today my mother brought up the subject of her second husband and his cigars. As a chance to “test her memory” I asked, “Tell me Mom, where all did you live with Nord?” [She had only lived in one place with him, for 18 years.]
“Oh I don’t know. Hmmm. I don’t have much of a memory anymore.” Then she shrugged. This lost memory was significant to me. Why? Where she lived with Nord was the last place she had lived before we moved her into assisted living two years ago. Conclusion? More and more of her “recent memories” are fading. But I wanted to test it further. So I asked it another way, “Didn’t you and Nord live in a condo in Aurora?” [She loved this condo. She had a huge community of friends in this condo. She was a VERY popular person in this community. Everybody loved my Mom. She entertained them every spring in the frolics show. She worked in the community center at the front desk. It was her entire life.]
She sat there thinking and pondering.
“Oh I don’t know. I don’t have much of a memory anymore.” Then she said this:
“And, it’s just as well.”
It’s just as well? I cannot tell you how much this touched my funny bone. I broke out giggling, bowling over with laughter. But this wasn’t good because I was behind the wheel and one cannot see the road very well when bowled over.
She was a little perplexed by my laughter. “Well, isn’t it? I mean really. It’s probably good I can’t remember.” Then she started to laugh.
My mother has had it hard in life. “It’s just as well” makes sense. And yes, it is both bitter and sweet. But for today, I’m going to ignore the bitter and laugh my fool head off. Sometimes the sweet deserves its focus. Oh my mother and her amazing sense of humor, her quick wit and her wisdom.